How to know if your nursery assistant is right for you

When my daughter was born, I knew I’d stay at home with her for 6 months. But I did not know yet, who would look after her, once I’d go back to work. She is a hypersensitive child and needed someone to mother her when I wasn’t there. I considered my options and quickly knew that I wanted her to stay with a nursery assistant. When I started to interview different childminders, I went prepared. I am sharing my list of questions to ask a nursery assistant, to make sure she is the right match.

About her

• Ask about her curriculum. What did she do before becoming a childminder? What did she learn? Why did she choose this job? – You want to know who you are dealing with.
• What is her personal experience? How long has she been a nursery assistant?
• Does she have children? How old are they? What do they do? Are they studying? What does her husband do? – This might seem to be too personal to you, but it is really important when you want to get to know the person who will look after your child.
• Does she have pets? – Up to you to accept that risk.
• Does she smoke? – She is not allowed to smoke inside. Look for signs like an ashtray and follow your nose. I’ve had nounous (minders) lie to my face although I could smell the cold cigarette smoke in her breath.
• What is her mother tongue? Is she willing to speak to your child in her language? – My girl has been able to learn Kabyle for the first three years of her life.

Contract

• How many children does she care for at the same time? For how many children does she have a licence? What age? – Like that, you will know if, for example, she will be looking after two babies at the same time or just one baby and one child who knows how to walk.
• What is her fee? – You might be able to negotiate but most times they know exactly what they want. The hourly rate is between 2,50 € and 5,50 € + the daily compensation (for housekeeping, electricity, new toys etc.) often around 4€.
• At what time does she start? At what time can you bring your child in the morning? When do you have to pick her up latest? – Depending on your lifestyle, you might be constrained to bring your child at 7.30 am in the morning or to pick her up at 8 pm, so you need to make sure she will be available.
• What happens if you are late? Does she do overtime?
• Where her previous employers happy with her? – Ask her to give you 3 different contacts and call these people. You might be surprised about what they will tell you.
• Does she accept a child that’s taken ill? – Otherwise, you might need to find a different solution each time you child has a fever because he is teething.

Her ways of working

• How does she like to communicate? Verbally or through a “carnet de liaison” (a notebook) where she will write down the naptime, menu and activities of the day? – Personally, I prefer to talk about my children’s day, this helps me to have better communication.
• Does she cook for the child or will you bring her lunch and snacks in the mornings? If she prefers to cook, what does she make? Is it well balanced or bio? How much does it cost?
• Which material does she provide? Do you have to bring a travel cot, a buggy, bibs?
• Which space of her home is dedicated to the children? Ask her to show you around.
• How does she manage risk?
• Does she respect the daily routine you give to her (naptime, meals)?
• Does she happen to leave your child to a family member when she needs to leave the house for example to pick up another child at school? – This is strictly forbidden.
• Does she go grocery shopping with the kids? – This is also not allowed. Some will tell you that they just buy a baguette or go to the market with the children as a learning experience. Not sure it is allowed but it’s up to you to tolerate it or not.
• Is she willing to give your child his medication if needed? – Most will be OK with it if you have a prescription.
• What happens if she gets sick? Does she have a colleague who can take over? – Some AssMats partner up for emergencies.
• Has she been confronted with child abuse? How did she react?

Education

• How does she organise lunchtime?
• When does she put the children to bed? Does she wake them up or let them sleep? – Her educational methods have to fit yours.
• What is her take on discipline? Does she punish the child if he does something wrong? If so, how?
• How does she react in case of a conflict with the child?
• How does she react when your baby cries? And what does she do when he is inconsolable? – This question was for me THE most important one. It helped me to figure out if the AssMat would let my baby cry it out, put him into bed all by himself or put him in a baby carrier and try to calm him down.
• What does she do when your child refuses to eat or refuses to sleep? – Again, make sure her ways of working match yours! Otherwise, you will worry all day long.
• What happens when your baby falls?
• Does she use a baby carrier? A “trotteur”/ baby-walker?
• Do the children watch TV sometimes? – Careful, she is supposed to look after them and not let the TV do the job for her. Also, check the “box”, I’ve seen Nickelodeon on the display, a channel her husband and herself definitely did not watch.

An example of a workday

• What does a normal day look like?
• What activities does she do with the kids?
• When and how often do they leave the house?
• Does she go out to pick up her/other kids from school? – Careful, if she needs to bring and pick up her own children 4 times a day, she won’t be able to respect your child’s naptime.

Also, watch out for signs like a TV that’s constantly on. Is the apartment clean? Ask to use the toilet to see how clean it really is. Are there any aggressive animals? Does the apartment smell of tobacco?

Do not hesitate to meet several nursery assistants to find the right match for you. For my firstborn, I conducted 8 job interviews and found the best nounou ever. For my boy, she wasn’t available because she had a baby herself so I had to find someone new. And even though this woman matched all of our criteria, we were forced to finish our collaboration after only 3 months. There is no guarantee but at least with this list, you will be able to have a real exchange and will get to know the person a little better.